Do Tell . . .
I want to take you back to 2006. The date was on or around July 20. After serving more than two years and five months in uniform, I made the decision—for myself and my own dignity—to violate the terms of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The decision was not made lightly, but I could no longer pretend to be somebody I was not. And more so, I was in love and wanted my relationship to flourish.
On this date, after having met with JAG and my Commander, the paperwork was finished and finalized, and I headed into the Nebraska National Guard Air Base for my ‘show down’ and turn-in. I made the decision to bring my soon-to-be fiancé, and later husband, for support on this painful day. Words can barely describe the feelings expressed and general atmosphere present in my office.
We met with my Noncommissioned Officer-In-Charge (NCOIC) and I proceeded to sign in my uniforms and gear. What was left of the actual ‘official’ paperwork to sign was miniscule, but it still felt as though you could cut the air with a knife. This was not what I wanted to do, but I felt as though I had no choice. My heart was racing and my skin was flush.
“Do you think if things were different, you’d stay with us?” she said softly.
“I honestly don’t know Sergeant,” I said back to her. What happened next I will never forget . . .
As tears began to fall down her face, she reached out and wrapped her arms around me.
“Specialist Huskey, you are a good Soldier and you will be missed,” she said. “I wish things were different. I wish you would stay.”
And as she said her goodbyes to me—both her and I crying now—she managed to take my breath away. She walked over, opened her arms, and hugged my boyfriend. She wished us each happiness and love in life, and we went on our way.
Less than 10 days later, I would be living in Canada.
This just goes to show you that five years before the repeal of DADT, the climate of the Guard was already aware of gays and lesbians serving in uniform. And while regulation forced you to stay quiet, plenty of people knew and didn’t care. My own Commander claimed he already ‘knew’ or ‘thought so.’ You are either good at what you do, or you are not—and that’s what matters most.
On Dec. 13, after nearly three months of lining ducks in a row and jumping through various hoops, I made the decision, and officially re-enlisted into the Nebraska Army National Guard. I will return to my job of Public Affairs Specialist in practically the same unit I left some years ago. The day was made greater when my mother swore me in…for the second time.
At the end of the day, make it a part of you—but don’t let your sexuality define you.
You are more than your biology.
HOOAH. (It’s an Army thing).
Riley S. Huskey
Editor
touchemag.com
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