Really Just A Number

As this is my first blog experience ever, I ask everyone to kindly bare with me while I start to figure this out. I guess I should probably start off by introducing myself. My name is Luke Wells, 20, and I am a junior at UNL. I just recently switched my major from Biochemistry to Psychology and I couldn’t be happier about it. I also am minoring in LGBTQ studies. I was raised in Omaha and came to Lincoln solely for school, but honestly have enjoyed every minute of it.

I was so surprised by the gay community here in Lincoln, and how large it was, due to the fact that I couldn’t imagine a large community in a state like Nebraska. However, I was wonderfully mistaken, and have met some of my best friends here, gay and straight. With my degree in Psychology I hope to go on to graduate school and maybe even pursue a doctorate. I hope to use my skills to either help with research in the LGBTQ field, or help kids struggling with their sexuality, which I think we all do at some point in our lives.

As positive as my experience has been in the gay community here in Lincoln, I have run into something that seems to rear its ugly face over and over again, as I’m sure it does in every gay community: the age issue. I have heard friends, acquaintances and even myself say, “I’m getting so old,” when in reality the people saying these things are in their prime. Why is it that people refer to a gay 24-year-old man as old, when if you are straight and 24, you are living the dream and having the time of your life?

Is our community so obsessed with youth and ageing that we constantly stress ourselves out and fear every upcoming birthday as it brings us closer to our “gay grave?” It seems to me that each year, when all the new freshman roll in to town, this issue seems to come to the forefront of conversation. I have seen it happen multiple times when an 18 year old will start to make friends with people who are older and all they can think about is the fact that they are starting to wrinkle. I also think that some of the new incoming gay youth aren’t at a maturity level where they can see that age is really just a number, and doesn’t have much sway in things as you start into your twenties. I feel as though they are still stuck in a high school mentality that one-year age difference is a big deal. When in reality, some people are dating or friends with people who are five or more years older than themselves.

I personally have felt this way when I have met new friends who are freshman, and they have asked “How old are you?” After my response, they kind of give me this look like, “Oh, he’s 20. That’s two years older than me….that’s kind of old.” And honestly, I have played into it and thought, wow, I am getting old.

The ridiculous thing is 20 is not old at all, and neither is 21, or 22, or 26, or even 35! Who have we put in charge of deeming what is old and what is not? Why do we let ourselves feel insignificant to other people just because they are younger? Yes, they may be younger, but that doesn’t mean they are more youthful. At any age you can still feel young at heart. So my plea to everyone is to realize that while you may be older than some, that does not, by any means, mean you are old. So stop obsessing over age and focus on the things that actually matter in life. Be confident you have some years behind you—it means you have a lot more experience—and experience is attractive.

Luke Wells
Student
University of Nebraska, Lincoln