Educate and Advocate
I recently have started back to school. As I sat in class the first several weeks, the topic of homosexuality or lesbian parenting came up several times. I sat there uncomfortable, not saying a word. I have come out hundreds of times, but had a lot of anxiety about coming out this time. First of all, I wasn’t sure that it was appropriate to come out during class. Secondly, I wasn’t sure how some of my classmates would respond and I knew that I would be spending the next several years with these people. There was also a little bit of strategy involved. I knew that for some of my classmates, I might be the only out gay person they knew and I wanted them to have an impression of who I was before coming out.
I knew the night that I was coming out prior to class. We were watching a video on Transgendered people and there was no doubt in my mind the conversation would come around to a discussion of orientation. I emailed a classmate that I knew was an ally prior to class to ensure I had a safe person with me. I could hardly eat that day as my anxiety grew.
When class arrived we watched the video and then took a break and came back for discussion. We talked about a variety of things in the video and as the conversation evolved, I knew it was time. So, I shared that I was a lesbian and a bit of my story. The class received it and was very respectful. Several others shared stories about LGBT family members or friends. Then the class started to ask questions. How did I know? How did my family respond? Since I used to be a pastor, was I in a church that was accepting? What churches are accepting? I did my best to answer each of the questions as honestly and completely as I could from my experience. And, by the end of class, I was hyper—because it was such a positive experience.
I think I helped change some people’s perspectives of LGBT people that night. At the very least I gave them something to think about, and shattered some myths. As I reflected on that experience, I was reminded that for LGBT people, coming out is a continuous process. We choose when and where to come out and at times, we simply say nothing. Most of us don’t have the name recognition of Ellen, Rosie or Melissa for folks to just know. It is easy to get frustrated with this continuous process of coming out and become angry at a society that assumes heterosexuality to be the norm.
I have been frustrated at times, but I realized that night that part of my responsibility as the president of Star City PRIDE and an out member of the LGBT community is to help educate and advocate. The negative perceptions of LGBT people are often formed from a lack of experience. It’s easier to vilify and objectify a group if you don’t really know anyone or if the people you know fulfill the stereotypes. So it becomes important for us to provide different experiences. To educate the broader community on LGBT realities and issues as we advocate for those in our midst who are still struggling to claim their identity or are not able to “come out.”
Coming out is not always a positive experience. But it is an opportunity to make a better tomorrow for our LGBT children. So now when I am struggling over coming out in a situation, I ask myself if coming out will benefit myself and others. Then I pull up my big girl panties, and put on my educator and advocate cap.
Karen Bratton
President
Star City Pride
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